So frustrated online dating

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We’re able to process all of these signals so rapidly that we’re often unaware of it; to our conscious mind, we’re just eliding over the ones who we read as “nope, not interested” while we narrow our focus on the people who do it for us.

All of this subconscious presentation and filtering is lost in online dating; all we have are our words and our photos, so we have to consider how to craft as attractive a snapshot of ourselves as possible.

If your brand of humor trends to the physical or being silly, then post that picture of you as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man from last Halloween or doing something wacky.

We often carry this mindset over into online dating and start to give one person – usually the first one to respond – all of our attention, ignoring everybody else until that first conversation has run it’s course.

This is a mistake – and one that makes online dating considerably more inefficient and tedious. Some of the oldest and most boring cliches of online dating are the people who just say that they’re some attractive quality… Saying that you’re funny or spontaneous or romantic is the dating site equivalent of “I listen to a little bit of everything except country and rap.” It’s so generic as to mean nothing.

Many people treat online dating as though they were talking to somebody in a bar.

In the physical world, unless you’re Jack Harkness, flirting with several different people simultaneously is a major faux-pas and likely to leave you going home alone – possibly wearing several drinks.

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