Moving from dating to a relationship
Relationships do not come equipped with a nonstop monitoring device like that.
So it is appropriate to periodically check in with your partner.
The key word is “periodically” (think annual or semi-annual review).
Seeking constant reassurance is a sure sign of insecurity and clinginess.
I personally know several couples who dated for five years or more and finally did get married (and are still happily married). Because I might have just given women stuck in dead end relationships which will never lead to marriage the false hope that they too will be one of those success stories, and the motivation (or excuse) to hang in their for another couple of years (or more). If you’re in a relationship with a man who is unable to ask for your hand in marriage, you have two choices: 1.
Ladies, before you get too excited let me tell you two things about those success stories: 1. I can only imagine the frustration and pain they constantly had to suffer as year after year flew by with nothing more to show for than some I love you’s and promises of impending engagement, as they watched their friends walk down the wedding aisle one by one.
It’s the kind of moment that’s vital for any relationship that will evolve into something serious.
These ideas will help the conversation go smoothly: Broach the issue clearly.
Be prepared to listen to your partner’s reply and to discuss it. If you find yourself arguing for more than your partner is ready to give, you are pushing too hard. Their mind and emotions start spinning too fast for words to make sense.
Take the pressure off by suggesting some time to think it over and a follow-up discussion. We’ve all grown accustomed to watching TV news shows and seeing a “crawler” scroll across the bottom of the screen with stock reports, sports scores, and weather alerts.
If it doesn’t happen by your one year anniversary, I’d say it’s time to “go on now go, walk out the door”. I can’t see a good reason to be engaged for more than a few months or for as long as it takes to plan your perfect wedding. And by the way, the same applies to guys dating girls that won’t commit.
Unless the guy is in the middle of med school (or the equivalent), he shouldn’t need more than 6 months to at least make a to marry you in the near future. If you can’t get clarity by then, chances are extremely high that it will never happen.