Dating a commitment phobic man
“Now, I’m not talking about someone who likes you but is not just ready yet to adjust their Facebook relationship status to link to your profile.
I’m referring to someone who won’t even accept your friend request, even after you ask him about it.” Why? It makes sense to put off popping the question in some circumstances, but if it seems like he keeps inventing reasons why now isn’t the time—from wanting to save money to needing to indulge in the desire to travel or work overseas—you may want to ask if it’s going to be a good time, says Toni Coleman, LSCW, a psychotherapist and relationship coach.
In many cases, your instincts will provide the answer about whether or not he’s invested.
“At the end of the day, people will go after what they really want,” says Sassoon. If he’s always making major plans with other people and not inviting you, it shows you where his is priorities are.” If there are big chunks of time that go unaccounted for and then he miraculously resurfaces, that’s a pretty clear sign something is up.
This is almost a sure sign that his intentions for this relationship will remain in the realm of the casual and superficial,” Bregman notes.
If he changes the subject, gets very quiet, or gets defensive when you talk about your friends’ engagements and weddings, this indicates he might not ever be comfortable with the idea of committing in this way, Coleman says.
“If you do make plans, it will always entail him leaving what he’s doing and breaking off from his group, to come see you—alone.” “This is a showstopper,” Spillman says.
How can he commit to you if he’s already committed to someone else?
“If someone avoid the topics of commitment or exclusivity like the plague, it’s probably a sign that he doesn’t see any longer-term future with you,” says Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Bregman, a matchmaker and author.“You are both actively pursuing contact with each other and opportunities for more time together.” If this isn’t the case, you may have some thinking to do.“He assures you that sometime in the future he will be ready, but when you ask for an estimate, he can’t give you one,” Coleman says.It’s not a problem that a lot of us aren’t looking for a committed relationship.It is a problem, however, when you’re in a “committed” relationship and your partner has, shall we say, completely different expectations from yours.