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If you were together for 2 years, it takes 6 months. Then, I noticed that it took another 3–4 months of feeling a sort of nostalgia about the relationship, with good memories coming forth, and some feelings of love (not “in love", just simple “detached love") coming through that start making you feel good for the ex and starting to just hope that he or she will do well in their life without you.

I'll use a 4-year relationship as an example because the calculations are easier to show.

We talked about our exes to the point of driving the other person away.

We still cried about our loss to the point that the new companion couldn't take it anymore, realizing that they were still our second choice, that we really just wanted our exes back more that we wanted them breaking their hearts.

I also noticed that those friends, and even myself, made things much worse if we tried to enter a new relationship during that recovery period.

We all wanted the new companion to behave like our ex.

However, I still seemed to want a relationship just like the one I just broke up from, but that faded until, by the end of the recovery period, I felt ready to experience new love with no attachments to feelings of my ex, comparisons about my ex, or desires to have a relationship necessarily similar to my ex.

"How long it takes for you to be ready to move on depends on a few different circumstances," she says.Yeah, it's a crazy belief, but it affected me consistently.Also, this theory didn't occur to me until after that final, 8-year breakup.I felt that I could love myself, without a relationship, free of any companion's expectations.I felt that I could take my time before stepping into a relationship again.

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